My Worst Fears

[Frank Howard]

To those listers outside the US, Dear Abby is a column that runs in hundreds of US newspapers. Abby advises readers on life and relationship problems.

Dear Abby,

I've never written to you before, but I really need your advice on what could be a crucial decision. I've suspected for some time now that my wife has been cheating on me. The usual signs... Phone rings but if I answer, the caller hangs up. My wife has been going out with the girls a lot recently although when I ask their names she always says, "Just some friends from work, you don't know them." I always stay awake to look out for her taxi coming home, but she always walks down the drive. Anyway, I have never approached the subject with my wife. I think deep down I just didn't want to know the truth, but last night she went out again and I decided to really check on her. I decided I was going to park my Lotus Elan on the side of the garage and then hide behind it so I could get a good view of the whole street when she came home.

It was at that moment, crouching behind my Elan, that I noticed that the rear seal on my engine seemed to be leaking a little oil. Is this something I can fix myself or should I take it to a garage?

[john.p.clegg]

Frank

I know this is a trying time for you what with marital problems and Lotus problems but it may help if you try looking on the bright side,your wife may be messing around with another man but at least you have found where the oil is coming from and who knows,the fellow may be a factory trained Lotus mechanic....
If things don't work out and divorce is looming,again think of all the extra time on your hands for driving and tinkering with your Lotus....


Keep your chin up

John

[RotoFlexible]

Dear Frank,

I have bad news for you, and worse news.

The bad news is that you cannot fix your oil leak yourself, and the garage can't fix it either.

The worse news is that your wife isn't cheating with another man. She is sneaking out to drive a Ma*da Mi*ta that she keeps in a rented garage!

Sorry,
Abby